“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” - C.S. Lewis (Four Loves)
This is all too easy to do, isn’t it? Step in a box & throw away the key, locking up your heart so you cannot be hurt ever again. For those of us who endure the aftermath of past heartbreak, this is a possible reality we face. I know for me, the healing of past emotions is a process I share with my ultimate Healer, Jesus. I can certainly say I get stronger each passing day, but I’m always on guard- in positive & negative ways.
We lock our hearts & put up guards for multiple reasons. Betrayal, deceit, adultery, rejection, & abandonment are among the ugly tragedies that threaten to eradicate the beautiful identity God created for us. These result from many areas in life, but I think you’ll agree they are most damning when received from one who was the recipient of our most intimate selves; the one who we expected to be our mate for life here on earth.
There are so many ways to lock up your heart. Lewis outlines some of them in his quote. Being an introvert, isolation can be my method. Believe me, one can make themselves be alone in a crowd as well. For the extrovert, it may be throwing themselves into numerous social situations in a shallow way that prohibits meaningful connection with others. Whatever your method, we need to guard against these two extremes.
For myself, I fear I often give a false vibe because my heart can be walled up. I wall in my real feelings for fear of them gushing out & I may appear indifferent, when otherwise is true. At other times I’m rushed & bold before the right time. I’m learning to take this process of life & friendship in prayer to God, surrendering to Him the specifics I can’t control.
“Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life.” – Proverbs 4:23 (NLT) 
In this Bible verse, guarding is not the same a “locking up”. There is a positive connotation that belies the negative effect of being tucked away in an “irredeemable” casket to rot away. What we put into our heart or selfishly keep our heart from is indeed “a well-spring of life”. Whatever goes into our hearts will definitely come out. The seemingly harmless acts of immersing ourselves in activity & people, or relishing quiet moments are innocent enough if done with God’s purposes in mind; to glorify Him. We are to serve others as well as retreat into times of solitude with the focus of growing in Christ. It’s when we use the everyday moments to numb & isolate ourselves from our pain the a selfish bitter root takes hold & chokes the growth God wants to promote.
How can protecting our hearts be selfish? Well, the focus is on denying a wound & not giving Jesus to opportunity to heal it. Still, it’s imperative we guard our hearts against anything that is contrary to His perfect will set out for us in the law of His scripture.
It’s intriguing how anything that God created as good can be misused in this sinful world & how sometimes the painful past can cause us to fear a wonderful future. Let’s not allow that to happen to us. A casket is for dead people & we are alive in Christ- broken hearts & all! Jesus our Healer & Redeemer is the guardian of our lives.
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